Post by caroline amanda forbes ?! on Mar 20, 2011 12:55:20 GMT -5
CAROLINE AMANDA FORBES
seventeen :: female :: vampire[/color][/center][/font]
"You have got to be kidding me. Talk about myself, for real? Ugh.
What is there to tell, really? This is such a stupid question, I don't even know where to begin. I mean, how well do you expect a person to talk about themselves like that? Okay, well, lemme think.
People have always considered me to be a bitch, straight forward. I mean, it's not like that was my goal or anything but apparently that's the vibe I give off and after awhile, I had grown to accept that. You can say I do play it out a little. Why not? If people are gonna go around saying that kind of stuff about you, you might as well live up to it because nothing you ever do is gonna make the rumors, or whatever, go away. But.. of course, those people who think that kind of stuff about me are the same people who don't really know me and it gets so annoying.
I'm not really a bitch, I swear. I consider myself to be a great person. Maybe be a bit cocky but hey, it's better than thinking horribly of yourself. I try my best to be a good friend to my friends, although lately it's been hard to do so. Bonnie totally hates me and Elena, well, I'm not nearly as good of a friend as I should be for her right now. Reasons that I, uh.. won't be mentioning. Anyways! I try my best to be a good person, I listen, try to give advice, that kind of stuff, but.. I can't help it if my attention starts to focus more on, well, me.
I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous, self-centered, just.. an awful person. It doesn't make things any better that I'm not a vampire, some crazy thing that wants blood all the time and apparently who's feelings are magnified after becoming this. So, the jealousy, self-centered-ness, bitchiness, whatever.. Yeah, that's gotten a whole lot worse and I'm really starting to get annoyed with myself. Life's a bitch, right?"[/font]
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March 20th, 2011.
Is it weird that only now I'm starting to think back on my life? Only now, after I've been turned into this.. vampire (thanks a lot, Katherine) am I thinking back on what I had, having no idea that I was taking certain things for granted. I had no idea I would end up being dead at only seventeen years old. Ugh, this sucks. I haven't touched this diary in, like, forever. Okay, now that I've checked, it's been about a year and a half since I last wrote in here but right now I just need a comforting.. thing, even if you can't comfort me back. Oh great, I'm actually referring to this diary as if it's a living thing. You're going crazy, Caroline. Maybe it's all the vampire stuff in you now. Anyways, where to start?
I had loved being an only child for such a long time. It's hard to remember back in those days, when I was really young, but that was the one thing I'll always remember. I was so spoiled and I'd always get the best clothes, toys, everything. It was awesome, being the sheriff's daughter, but the one thing I had constantly wanted, my mom was never able to give me. All I ever wanted was my mother, someone to spend time with, seeing as my dad was gone before I could even remember him. Dead beat dads are just the best, aren't they? Even if he had stuck around, I doubt I would have gotten a better parent out of him than I did out of my mom. Guess I got the crappy parent card in exchange for the awesome, spoiled card. Of course, I'm selfish and want both of them but apparently I'm not allowed to have my cake and eat it... Which is stupid. What else are you going to do with a cake, other than eat it? What a stupid expression.
Anyways. I met Elena and Bonnie when we were young, back in elementary and I love them both to death. I doubt they feel the same way about me right now, but it's not like I can force them to. I mean, I have the power to, but it wouldn't work on either of them, thanks to Elena having that vervain and Bonnie being a witch, or whatever. It was never all bad, we were three best friends, pretty much always seen with each other. Sometimes I definitely enjoyed the question of where the other two were if I were by myself. After not really having a mom, it was good to have friends that stuck by me no matter what. Sucks that things aren't like that anymore and I'm pretty sure that they won't be any better.
High school was nice, always the same up until this year. I had a lot of attention from people in the school, I was still best friends with Bonnie and Elena, and then the Salvatores had to come back. It's all their faults, if they had never come back, none of this wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be stuck being a stupid vampire! I mean, I'm with Matt, how am I supposed to be able to mantain a relationship when all I ever want to do is just sink my teeth into him and drink? It's not fair. Stefan has no idea how hard this is, he's been doing it for however many years he's been doing this, he's gotta be a pro by now. I'm just starting out. Ugh, this whole entry was stupid, just a bad idea. Why re-live old, good memories when I'm stuck in a crappy life right now? Guess it's gonna be awhile before I open this thing again..
Claire: twenty-two : Eastern
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